Displaying a level of speed we have yet to see so far on Santa’s flight a new speed record has been set as Santa’s sleigh rocketed south towards Australia.
“That was a surprise,” Elf Quinton said. “To be honest Santa has been moving at a very leisurely pace. We expected him to pour it to the coals at some point. The sleigh is fine, though. The reindeer are good. They love to go that fast. I wonder what other surprises Santa has in store for us.”
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: No issues reported at this time.
Sleigh Status: 63987 mph
Reindeer Status: Bursting with energy!
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Roof damage reported in Geneva; downed trees and power lines reported in Northern Michigan; mean residents reported in Manchester, UK…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Athens
Where it is Christmas morning now: Papua New Guinea, Philippines, Marshall Islands, Soloman Islands, Fiji, Samoa, Tonga, Auckland, New Zealand, Kiritimati
Kids in these places should be in bed by now: