Santa has slowed way down…like he is going to stop somewhere. But he isn’t over any land.
“Nothing is wrong,” said Elf Quinton in Santa’s Tracking Center. “We have no alarms. The sleigh is fine. The reindeer are fine. Santa is slowing down on purpose for some reason.”
As we get more news we will keep you updated.
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: No alerts at this time.
Sleigh Status: 125 mph
Reindeer Status: Very strong.
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Non- believers reported in Jerusalem; Large flocks of birds reported in Manchester, England; extreme heat reported in Congo…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Jakarta
Where it is Christmas morning now: Nowhere
Kids in these places should be in bed by now: