Way up north by the Arctic Circle above northern Russia a flaming vapor trail was just reported moments ago. Unless someone fired a missile or a rocket that has to be Santa Claus. If the reports are true — and we believe they are because we’ve been in constant contact with military sources from many nations — it can only mean Santa has been to Kazakhstan and many remote areas of Russia recently.
I am attempting to get a report from the Tracking Center but I still cannot get past the lockdown. They are following my updates from inside there and hopefully someone in there can slip us an update with more information.
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: Command Center under lock-down…
Sleigh Status: 46389 mph
Reindeer Status: Blazing fast
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Airport lights reported out in Moscow; heavy weather reported in north central Canada; Iceland reports high winds and heavy snow…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Nova Scotia
Where it is Christmas morning now: Omsk, Kabul, Delhi, Mumbai, Calcutta, Sri Lanka, Mongolia, Shanghai, Beijing
Kids in these places should be in bed by now: