Happy reports are coming in from all over the South Pacific where the islands of the sea are reporting a Merry Christmas at this hour.
The tracking department said Santa’s sleigh appears to be functioning fine and that Santa is right on time.
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: No issues reported at this time.
Sleigh Status: 4850 mph
Reindeer Status: Very strong.
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Lack of Christmas Spirit reported in Los Angeles; obstruction report on roof in Madison, Wisconsin; poor weather reported in Victoria, BC….
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Kabul
Where it is Christmas morning now: Auckland, New Zealand, Kiritimati
Kids in these places should be in bed by now: