Over the summer Santa created quite the mystery by heading a construction project that resulted in thousands of new sleighs. Those sleighs have been taken out of storage and reindeer are being hitched to them as fast as they can make it happen.

Oddly, those sleighs are leaving the North Pole — empty.

I’m not sure I understand this. In fact, now that I think about it, Santa made so many new sleighs they rented some warehouse space in Guam to store them all. What of those sleighs?

We will try to get to the bottom of this story too. It is very early in the story of the delivery phase of Operation Merry Christmas, so please be patient as we sort this out.

While elves in the Tracking Department and at the North Pole Sleigh Port are working very urgently as this hour there is no declared emergency. By all appearances, Operation Merry Christmas remains on track.

Stand by for more details.

— Elf Ernest