I Yam What I Yam

I yam what I yam. Please let me explain that.

Thanksgiving is its own holiday. Let’s be clear about that. I say that only because so many seem to think that Thanksgiving gets forgotten in the shadow of Christmas.

Some even insist that here at the North Pole even we are guilty of zooming past Thanksgiving to get to Christmas. They talk about the Thanksgiving Day Elf Parade, the walkabout by Santa and the midnight kick-off of Operation Merry Christmas as somehow being a slight to Thanksgiving.

Of course, that’s crazy.

We celebrate Thanksgiving like few people in the world. It is, after all, Santa’s favorite holiday. We have shared that with you many times.

What is the big deal about Thanksgiving?

I will tell you.

Thanksgiving is about quality in detail. And sugar, of course.

Seriously.

We tend to obsess over the tiniest things at Thanksgiving.

Like yams. Sweet potatoes. Whatever it is you call those things.

I’m no nutritionist, that’s for sure. I love food as much as the next guy. Right now – Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving – home cooks and chefs alike are all sweating the details of whatever is perfect Thanksgiving food to them.

In our world here at the North Pole, it’s yams.

We cannot grow them here, of course. The dirt is too hard, cold and frozen for things like potatoes, sweet or otherwise. So we have to import them from areas of the world that grow this stuff.

Most North Pole yams come from Idaho, where they evidently use steroids or something to grow those ugly things. They are the size of footballs. But none of that matters any way.

Yams are washed cleaned, boiled, mashed, put into glass dishware and cooked again after mixing in pecans, brown sugar and then smothered in marshmallows. These then join a plate of flavors – turkey, cranberry, stuffing – the works. But the yams, oh the yams, always seem to get the most vocal response at the North Pole Thanksgiving table.

Of course, kids, let’s not kid ourselves about why: it’s the sugar.

You see, yams are a starch -which is a form of sugar, at least to your pancreas. Brown sugar is, well, sugar. And marshmallows are, well, sugar.

Are you seeing a pattern yet?

Is it any wonder why yams are so popular at the North Pole? Is it no wonder that elves love Thanksgiving?

Think about it.

Cranberry sauce, for example, is just cooked cranberries in – what else? – sugar.  Even the fat turkey is fattened with…well, sugar. Pumpkin pie? More sugar. Whipped cream for the pumpkin pie – it’s cream and sugar!

Sugar runs in the veins of elves at the North Pole. It’s what makes us run. And we make Christmas run.

So, Thanksgiving=yams=sugar=Christmas.

So are there any other questions about why Thanksgiving is so popular at the North Pole? Is there any doubt about why Thanksgiving is necessary before Christmas?

It’s the sugar, baby. I yam what I yam.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. A bless whatever sugar form you celebrate Thanksgiving with. We know why you do it. We understand.

Merry Christmas.