Santa, the Master Planner
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All Play and No Work for Santa

The month of January seems silly to some. Gone are the days of anticipation for Christmas and with that it seems Santa and the North Pole are forgotten. After the brief post-Christmas rush of thank you cards and letters to the North Pole post…
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Elves and Anxiety

The most recent crisis at the North Pole – Santa’s absence – seems to have sent waves of panic in the elf community. It has caused many of you out there to send in letters of concern. From nine year old Natalie of Wisconsin, this…
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North Pole Media Explodes with Worries About Santa

A report from the North Pole Gazette on Saturday has upset a lot of people at the North Pole. The newspaper article said authorities at the Flight Command Center are really "hunting Santa", not just using Santa's planned absence as a training…
Life as an Elf
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When Elves Get Mad

The nature of my job as an elf is different. I spend most of my days working at a computer in an office. When the world thinks of elves they think of the guys and gals over in Santa’s workshop. Really, the world SHOULD think of those workshop…
Life as an Elf
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Why Thanksgiving is as Big as Christmas at the North Pole

Years ago I got in a lot of trouble for writing a column titled A Fat Man’s Holiday. That article talked about Santa’s love of food and the North Pole celebration of Thanksgiving. I will attempt to once again explain it all without…
Life as an Elf
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Things You Need to Know About Reindeer

Last Christmas was all about how Santa’s reindeer went missing. Remember that? It was such a big story that the email questions about reindeer are still pouring in. There are some things you need to know about reindeer. I think I can…
Life as an Elf
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Halloween for Elves at the North Pole

Halloween is a lot like Christmas at the North Pole. There is a buzz here this week as Halloween approaches. Everyone is happy. Everyone is excited. Elves love Halloween. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love Halloween. Elves…
Life as an Elf
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How Elves Poop and Other Secrets of North Pole Life

I was stunned to get this question via the mail to the North Pole this week: How do elves poop? I’m not answering it. And that’s because elves poop like everyone else and it’s disgusting and I don’t want to talk about it. But…
Life as an Elf
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What Elves Eat

I just wanted to say thanks to all the folks who sent me email after last week’s column. I had no idea how much interest there is in elf life. Our little discussion about elves in your home really brought forward a ton of questions. You…
Life as an Elf
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Elves in Your House

Everybody knows about the Big Elf who goes down your chimney in the dark of night every Christmas. His name is Santa Claus. We all welcome him into our homes with great anticipation. But there are other elves that go to your house. Perhaps…
Life as an Elf

A Face Made for Radio

The guys at the North Pole radio news department are really hard at work already. Their big show – the one you hear on Kringle Radio from December 23rd through the 25th tracking Santa round the world – will evidently feature some new…
Life as an Elf

Flying in Sleighs and Living at the North Pole

So I was at the North Pole Post Office the other day -- looking at all the mail the kids send in. I’m not going to lie – I had no idea you guys sent in so much. Even in September. Much of it is the same: I want to be an elf, I want…