Santa Begins Efforts to Recruit Tracker Elves

Breaking NewsOne of the big secrets of the North Pole Tracking Department has been revealed. In the past week elves have quietly opened a new website designed to manage and recruit millions of new Santa tracker elves. The site is called SantaTrackers.net.

Elf Agent X was one of the many elves that was part of the project. “We have for years recruited Santa’s secret spies via ElfHQ.com and we will continue to do so,” Agent X told me. “But this effort is different. These new tracker elves won’t work for me — they will work for the North Pole Tracking Department.”

A tracker elf is one that tracks Santa for Santa. Santa needs them in every area of the world.

They work in the weeks ahead of Christmas and during Santa’s flight to provide timely information to the Flight Command Center at the North Pole.

They are tasked with reporting on conditions — everything from the weather to the local condition of rooftops and chimneys.

Often, tracker elves are interviewed during the live radio news broadcast on Kringle Radio on Christmas Eve.

Thousands of elves work in support of Santa each year in places all over the globe. It has always been that way. But Santa’s flight effort has become more complicated over time and he just needs more elves, more eyes, and more support of the flight effort.

Any believer in Santa can volunteer for duty. Here are the steps to follow if you are not already an elf:

1. Go to Elf HQ.com and become an elf if you haven’t already done so. You need to take the Elf Oath.

2. Head then to SantaTrackers.Net and register to become a Santa Tracker elf.

3. When it asks for an invitation code to join type in the word snowball.

And that’s it — the site is completely private for authorized elves only. Once you have received your promotion to Official Santa Tracker Elf the site will give you instructions and begin your training. There is much to learn between now and Christmas if you are to help Santa when he takes flight.

“This is actually the first of two new websites the Tracking Department will open this year,” Elf Quinton told me. “That other new site won’t open until Halloween and we will explain it at that time. But we wanted to begin the process of recruiting new tracker elves now because Santa wants so many of them this year.”

This is a major announcement, folks. It is historic.

If you’re a believer I think you should go sign up for this new position as soon as you can. This is NOT an elf position that works you at the North Pole. But it is a smart move for anyone who wants to develop an elf career. To be part of Santa’s flight operations on Christmas Eve is a big honor. Just ask any of the reindeer. They all compete to be a part of it. You will want to be a part of it too.

Elf Ernest

Christmas in July at the North Pole

14breakingnews4Elf Hugo reports that the North Pole Post Office has been hit with a bunch of email all asking the same question: what does the North Pole do for Christmas in July?

Let me answer that question for you: we celebrate it! Believe it or not, all month long we have something going on every day here.

You see, because elves work so much during the months of November and December the month of July is very important for them in terms of taking care of their personal Christmas stuff. Elves do a lot of their shopping, wrapping and preparing for the season right now during Christmas in July. It is a very busy time.

And yes, Christmas in July at the North Pole also involves enjoying a lot of what some people would consider as Christmas-time only activities. There is a lot of Christmas caroling going on, plenty of cookies being made, and even some work on their outdoor lights and decorations here at the North Pole.

Elves on the job also do a bit for Christmas in July, too. For example, here in the News Department we have special coverage coming for our Christmas in July activities.

Please keep your eye on SantaUpdate.com starting next week — in fact, Monday, July 11th — we begin special features here on SantaUpdate.com that run daily through the 25th of the month.

So things are most definitely a bit more active in July than other non-Christmas months of the year.

Elf Ernest

Elves Worried About Santa’s Sleigh

su2013eeGreetings!

A meeting with Elf Quinton and his team at the Research and Development Department got a little out of hand this week. Some elves there are very upset.

Every year Santa rides in a new sleigh and it is quite a process. They start right after Christmas pouring over flight data and watching video of Santa’s flight, trying to figure out how to make Santa’s sleigh better and faster. By March they usually have some prototype sleighs they have constructed and by April test flights begin.

Santa usually signs off on a new design sometime in the summer months and then he authorizes construction of the new sleigh (and a back up).

None of that has happened this year. Instead, Santa has taken over the sleigh barn and has been busily working on a sleigh all by himself. He’s using vintage sleigh design more than 100 years old as his model and elves in Research and Development have looked at it and said it will be “slower than molasses at the North Pole”. (We don’t even have molasses at the North Pole, that’s how slow the stuff is).

Elf Quinton did his best to deal with their frustration but it is getting late in the year and these sleigh expert elves are bored to death and want to do their jobs.

Elf Quinton said he would talk to Santa about it.

Elf Ernest

Santa’s Workshop Working on Non-Electric Toys

14breakingnewsHi boys and girls!

The news this week comes from Santa’s workshop, where Elf Bernard reports that everything is on track for a successful Christmas. So far.

They held a meeting with Santa and he directed the workshop to change their quotas on toys that require electricity. Everything from video games to race tracks has been scaled back and the workshop will be focusing now on non-electric toys.

Santa did not say why this was necessary.

But it sure changes things for the elves in the workshop. They are making lots of skateboards, doll houses and play equipment right now.

I asked Elf Hugo if Santa’s mail reflects a demand for those kinds of things.

He said “no”.

In talking to Santa he said “this Christmas will be one of imagination”.

I don’t know what that means but I think he just dropped a really big hint.

Elf Ernest

Santa Announces Historic Launch Event

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breaking3Breaking news!

We have been told to expect a “history-making” event in about eight hours. Santa himself made the announcement.

We’re curious what he is talking about. In 8 hours it will still be too early for Santa to take flight. If he hitched up the reindeer and took off he would be arriving in places like New Zealand right in the middle of their Christmas Eve parties.

So he cannot be talking about the sleigh launch.

But he did say “big launch history event” in his description of things.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the Big Building with No Name?

Elf Ernest

Coming up next: Update from the North Pole Post Office

Where it is Christmas Eve now: Guam

Listen to Elf Ernest talk about the Big Building with No Name:

[powerpress]

kradani
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