Everybody knows about the Big Elf who goes down your chimney in the dark of night every Christmas. His name is Santa Claus. We all welcome him into our homes with great anticipation.
But there are other elves that go to your house.
Perhaps you know about these guys and what they do.
Or maybe you don’t.
You see, the idea is kind of creepy. Thinking of some little dude in pointy shoes rooting around your house when no one is looking isn’t really a pleasant thought.
But we have to talk about this. In fact, many of you keep writing in with questions – most about those elves known as an “Elf on the Shelf”.
Let’s set the record straight about those guys: they don’t work at the North Pole.
First of all, most of them are short. I mean, really short.
Look, we’ve got short elves at the North Pole but these shelf guys are way down on the scale of ridiculous when it comes to short. Most are about 10 inches tall. That’s Barbie short.
Sorry, but that’s the kind of short you wrap in a blanket and put in a stroller.
So these guys aren’t from here. Technically, I’m not sure they are even elves.
I’m just being honest here. I’ve never seen one of them ever take the Elf Oath.
Santa does know about them. In fact, once or twice a year a lady from New York meets with Santa to talk about these guys. Santa always greets her, treats her nice, etc but to be honest I have never seen one of these little buggers in red ever meet with Santa.
That’s just one reason why I’m not sure they are elves.
The other reason is that they seem to invade homes every Christmas. And many of them cause all kinds of trouble. It’s very un-elf-like.
I’ve seen on Facebook what some of these little guys will do. It’s not pretty.
But there’s one other thing you need to know. Elves don’t belong in your home unless they are doing something for Santa.
And that’s the truth. Santa just doesn’t send a lot of elves to houses. He doesn’t. At most, he’ll send elves from the Post Office Department at the North Pole to fetch what we call stocking mail.
In the last days before Christmas a lot of kids have notes they want to leave for Santa but it is too late to mail them. So we tell them to stick the notes in their stockings and that an North Pole Post Office Department elf will show up to get it back to Santa.
These elves operate under very strict rules. There is no playing on your Christmas tree. They can’t eat your cookies. They aren’t supposed to use your bathroom. Their job is to get in, get out and move on.
And most of them do just that because kids can send a lot of stocking mail at Christmas. They are really, really busy. All true elves are super busy at Christmas. It’s what we do, we’re elves.
Are there other elves that go to your house? Well, maybe. That’s between Santa and your parents, honestly. There are always special circumstances and I know there ARE elves that deal with certain situations. But for most folks the candid answer is no — elves don’t just randomly visit your house.
Now, that’s not to say you won’t ever confront an elf.
What most children don’t realize about elves is that most of us aren’t really short at all. We’re normal size – or bigger. And we don’t always dress in pointy hats and red, fur-trimmed coats.
An elf can look like anyone else.
And they can live anywhere else.
Do you know someone with a twinkle in their eye? Do you know someone who constantly celebrates Christmas – even when it is not Christmas? Do you know someone who runs to the store to buy eggnog…in June? Do you know someone who will go out in a blizzard to look at Christmas lights?
These are all classic giveaways of someone who is an elf.
Oh, they will never tell you. Most elves are sworn to secrecy (but not all).
So when it comes to elves in your home don’t be too quick to dismiss the idea. Just be suspicious of the really short ones.