Three Radical Features of Santa’s New Sleigh

Elf Roger Star, Director of North Pole Flight Command, was the featured guest in Elf Chat today and he revealed three radical and previously unknown features of Santa’s new sleigh:

1. Silent Sleigh Bells – the regular sleigh bells of Santa’s sleigh are augmented by new technology called Silent Sleigh Bells. These bells are electronic in nature and emit high pitched signals to North Pole AI systems to trigger complex movements of presents from warehouses to transfer sleighs to Santa’s sleigh, improving gift delivery accuracy and overall delivery times.

2. Holographic Projection Generator – Another AI driven technology that allows Santa to see a location he has not yet arrived at, useful for strategic delivery planning that makes delivery faster.

3. Ethics Protocol – Programmed protocol that prevents on-board AI systems from ethical or moral lapses and grounds the sleigh in the event of a protocol break.

These details, and more, may be a bit too technical for the casual believer to absorb but the reaction of elves all over the North Pole today is off the charts. This is technology on a level we have never seen with Santa’s sleigh before.

Here is the entire transcript of the chat with Elf Roger Star:

Elf Ernest	Elf Roger, what is your assessment of the test flights so far?
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Ernest! I’m so lucky to be here and see you all!
Roger Star	I actually think they are going so very well.
Elf Ernest	That is a different opinion than many others have in North Pole Flight Command.
Roger Star	It is and I’m working on changing their opinions. The problem is they want to compare what’s going on now to what was done in the past. And we just can’t do that. This year is special.
Elf Ulan	Elf Roger, how’s Eunice going so far?
Elf Ernest	How is it “special”?
Roger Star	Eunice isn’t launched yet, but she’s coming very soon. I’m expect her to last only a few weeks.
Roger Star	Elf Ernest, Elf Ulan’s question is a good example of what i mean by “special”. What we’re doing with this new sleigh has never been done before. We’re burning through new versions every couple of weeks because we’re advancing very quickly.
Elf Ulan	Okay, how about Daisy?
Roger Star	Daisy has been a good sleigh. We have learned a lot from her and because of her test flights the sleigh is improving.
Elf Ernest	So when evaluating something like Daisy you’re saying something others in Flight Command are not.
Roger Star	That’s right. This is a different sleigh, a different kind of process this time around. It’s going to go slow, I think, until December and then all of a sudden it will look like the fastest sleigh in the universe
Elf Ernest	Why is that?
Roger Star	Because we’re not just putting out a speedy new sleigh – we are reworking the entire delivery system. We call it a radical sleigh design, and it really is because everything is changing except for Santa and the reindeer.
Elf Ernest	Every thing? Like sleigh bells too?
Roger Star	Yes, we have super high technology engaged with this sleigh like we have never had before, even with the sleigh bells.
Elf Ernest	How can they make sleigh bells high tech?
Elf Ulan	Elf Roger, I think recent Santa’s sleighs were so great. They have the speed record. What change was from them?
Roger Star	We have been experimenting with silent sleigh bells. They drive a certain kind of action or result when they fire.
Elf Ernest	Silent sleigh bells? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of sleigh bells?
Roger Star	Elf Ulan, it’s not about speed. It’s about getting to more people more efficiently. We need the system behind Santa to go faster, not just have Santa himself go faster.
Roger Star	Elf Ernest, sound can be a trigger not only for reindeer but for other things too. Like robotics. A high pitch sound that you and I cannot hear can trigger a robot to do something you and I cannot
Elf Ernest	Seriously? A silent sleigh bell…tells a computer to do something. Like what would it do?
Elf Ulan	Oh, the system goes faster! Thank you! I finally understanded!
Roger Star	It would move gifts from a warehouse to a shuttle sleigh to Santa’s sleigh without Santa or an elf ordering it to. Automatically.
Elf Ernest	Wait…so how does the silent sleigh bell know to fire in the first place?
Roger Star	It’s a form of AI. It reads Santa’s position. It factors in weather, wind speed, bedtime delays, local delivery issues Santa is having and a dozen other things and it anticipates where Santa is headed next. From those signals it moves things in the background and makes them come forward to Santa’s sleigh.
Elf Ernest	Automatically?
Elf Ulan	Is it some related between the system and the silent sleigh bells?
Roger Star	Yes, automatically. Santa doesn’t hear a thing. All the support elves working distribution hear nothing as well. They just respond to commands driven by the silent sleigh bells.
Roger Star	Yes, Elf Ulan, they are all connected. Constantly talking to each other. It doesn’t make sense for the system to worry about anything in Africa, for example, when Santa is on his way to Japan. it only needs to anticipate Japan. So, hours and even minutes before Santa gets to Japan the system anticipates and has in position everything Santa will need when he gets there.
Roger Star	The silent sleigh bells are part of the mechanism that triggers that action. There are many other technical parts to this I just don’t have time to explain.
Elf Ernest	Has the sleigh ever used this kind of silent sleigh bell technology before?
Elf Ulan	Wow, awesome!
Roger Star	Yes, but it was used for other purposes that had nothing to do with delivery efficiency – things like how thirsty the reindeer are. That is important, but we’ve harnessed it to do higher level functions.
Elf Ernest	Boy, I’ll say. That’s crazy. So how are the silent sleigh bells testing?
Elf Ulan	Are the silent bells made by elves hands?
Roger Star	Excellent! We did a lunch delivery test for Santa when he was in Taiwan at the Regional Tracking Center there. Santa wanted to provide them with a hot lunch, but we didn’t know what time we would get there or how many elves we would be feeding. The system factored all this in and when Santa walked in right behind him lunch came in too – piping hot. It was a brilliant demonstration
Elf Ernest	This is blowing my mind.
Roger Star	The silent sleigh bells begin with traditional handcrafted bells that come from the same place we’ve used for years to make them – Hells Bells out of Hell, Norway.
Roger Star	But they come to the Micro-Electronics manufacturing division of the Research and Development department where chips and tiny boards are inserted and then programmed.
Roger Star	So far, this is all custom, one-of-a-kind stuff. But as each new version of the sleigh comes out we get better and faster at making and improving these bells.
Roger Star	That’s why it’s not bothering me to have a new version of the sleigh coming out every few weeks. It literally means we’re making good progress. And this is just one example of how radical this new sleigh is.
Elf Ernest	Does Santa understand this technology?
Elf Ulan	Oh, the bells are so special
Roger Star	He does. Better than anyone. You should hear him talk about the holographic projection generator.
Elf Ernest	The…wut?
Roger Star	The Holographic Projection Generator or HPG is an imaging system that allows Santa to see a location before he gets there.
Elf Ernest	Wait…huh? What is that and what is it good for?
Elf Ulan	Is that used our any reports, too?
Roger Star	Imagine it. Santa is in Mongolia but he knows you’re at home anticipating his coming. But he had some trouble at your house last year. A problem on the roof or chimney or whatever. So he tells the system to scan your residence for a fresh look at it.
Elf Ernest	No way.
Elf Ernest	That’s scary….
Elf Ulan	Wow!
Roger Star	No, it’s not. Because it’s not a spy tool. All Santa does is talk to the system. He says, give me an estimate on Ernest’s house. The system then does a scan and builds a simulation of what Santa will see before he gets there.
Elf Ernest	How does it know?
Roger Star	It uses a lot of sources. Stuff you do online, the sites you go to, the profiles you have, the records of Santa’s previous visits, the local weather history in your location, the records from the ultility company that gives you power or water…billions of searchable resources are scanned in an instant
Elf Ulan	Elf Roger, the great system seems doesn’t need about our elf reports!
Roger Star	Santa can know how hot the fire is in your fireplace from satellite projections from Star Link, they get real time info from Google, and this is about the INSIDE of your house. Santa will not only know how hot your fire is but where your Christmas tree is and what kind of cookies you have waiting for him.
Elf Ernest	Wowza!!
Elf Ernest	But to Elf Ulan’s point – does this make Santa trackers irrelevant?
Roger Star	Nope, not at all. It makes trackers more important. MORE necessary
Elf Ernest	How? I don’t understand..
Roger Star	The Santa tracker elves become another data point, one that scores very high on the charts for accuracy because they are local. Their reports factor into the results of the HPG
Elf Ulan	Me, neither
Elf Ernest	So the more tracker elves we have sending in data the better the HPG gets?
Roger Star	That’s right.
Elf Ernest	This…is revolutionary. It’s…going to make Santa quicker than ever.
Roger Star	Bingo.
Elf Ernest	Are there other things?
Roger Star	Yes. But I can’t talk about them all. In fact, I likely shouldn’t have told you about the HPG.
Elf Ernest	Why not?
Elf Ulan	About security?
Roger Star	Because people are bound to misunderstand it and be critical of it. They will take it to the whole “he sees you when you’re sleeping…” thing. It’s not about that at all
Elf Ernest	So…couldn’t Santa see me with that HPG thing, uh, sleeping?
Roger Star	No.
Elf Ernest	Why not?
Roger Star	Because he’s not targeting that. It’s irrelevant to his delivery directive.
Elf Ernest	His what?
Roger Star	Delivery Directive. That’s a protocol, call it an integrity check, built into the system.
Elf Ernest	An integrity check? What’s that mean?
Roger Star	Built into the programming is an ethics code. It cannot be used to spy or to steal or to do any kind of harm because the programming forbids it. That kind of thing can be detected and the system then would shut down entirely. And I mean entirely.
Elf Ernest	Entirely meaning….? What?
Elf Ulan	Elf Roger, you mean that Santa checks only delivery, not our personal lives?
Roger Star	Santa’s sleigh would be instantly grounded if he was in violation of the protocol.
Roger Star	Elf Ulan, that’s corrects.
Elf Ernest	Wow. Just wow.
Roger Star	That’s not even the half of it.
Elf Ernest	So….you’re saying all this stuff is working?
Roger Star	Yes, it’s working. And getting better with every flight.
Elf Ernest	So, what is your message to worried believers out there?
Roger Star	Just hang your stocking kids, and just believe.
Elf Ulan	Wow, getting better is great!
Elf Ernest	Elf Roger Star, thank you for persisting on getting here today. I think the information you just shared is so totally fantastic, I can’t wait to share it.
Elf Ulan	How about tracker elves?
Roger Star	Its a pleasure to talk about it with you.
Elf Ernest	What about the tracker elves, Elf Ulan?
Elf Ulan	any message to them
Elf Ulan	to us
Roger Star	Yes, to the tracker elves I would say be ready for some new reporting requirements. We’re going to want more detail. That’s coming.
Elf Ernest	Okay, good message!
Elf Ernest	Roger, thanks for being here. Keep up the good work!
Roger Star	Thanks Elf Ernest. Thanks Elf Ulan. Have a great day!
Elf Ulan	Okay, thank you so much, Elf Roger!
Elf Ernest	You too, Roger. Thanks Elf Ulan!
Elf Ulan	Thank you, Elf Ernest!
Elf Ernest	Have a great day all!

Author
Recent Posts

Elf Harold Star

Elf Harold Star is a veteran news reporter and editor formerly with the North Pole Gazette. He has reported North Pole News for more than 50 years. Elf Harold now serves as Editor-in-Chief for the North Pole Herald Star, a publication exclusively for elves. He is a regular contributor online at SantaUpdate.com and SantaTrackers.net. Elf Harold lives at the North Pole with his wife, 4 cats and 3 very scared goldfish.

Latest posts by Elf Harold Star (see all)