Could this be Santa’s fastest sleigh ever?

Elf Quinton took the new sleigh up for its first test run today and, boy, did it look beautiful! He only had 2 reindeer hooked to it and it looked like he was shot out of a cannon. I caught up with him once he landed for a quick interview.

“She flew beautifully. I knew she was going to be fast but that was even faster than I thought.” Elf Quinton said. “Once we get the A-team of reindeer hooked to her, it will be the fastest sleigh to ever come out of the North Pole.”

“The fastest ever?” I asked, just to make sure I heard him right.

“The fastest sleigh ever” Elf Quinton confirmed. “We have been working on this design for years. We have tested it in the wind tunnel. We have every gone through every possible configuration to get the aerodynamics just right. This sleigh slices through the air like a hot knife through butter. The angle of the front panel is finely tuned so it directs the air up and over the sleigh even when it’s fully loaded. The side panels and bottom have all been molded in a way to help with the aerodynamic lift. That means the reindeer don’t have to work so hard to keep it aloft and they can put more of their energy into going faster. It has state of the art electronics that keeps the load balanced in flight. That keeps the sleigh flying level at all times. This is the culmination of hundreds of years of research. I don’t know if we will ever be able to build a sleigh that goes faster than this.”

Then he said a bunch more stuff, very technical in nature that I didn’t understand — a lot of numbers, goofy math, that kind of stuff. Elf Quinton is one very smart elf. Maybe Santa can understand him when he gets excited like this.

It sounds like Santa is in for one heck of a ride this year.

We remind you not to get too excited about the new sleigh yet. It is still very early and Santa himself still needs to test it. Last year he went so fast on the test runs that his beard nearly caught on fire. Mrs. Claus will be sure to watch out that doesn’t happen again.

— Elf Ernest

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