There is good news and bad news today at the North Pole: The outbreak of the Bah Humbug virus in Santa’s Workshop seems to have been contained but the virus has now spread to the North Pole medical clinics and now has just been reported in my department, the North Pole Public Relations Department. Elf Lionel has been lecturing all the elves at the North Pole about the sickness and how to prevent getting it.
“The Bah Humbug virus is sneaky,” Elf Lionel said. “It can give you a headache, or maybe a little runny nose and some body aches. But the worst symptoms are more in your attitude and in your demeanor. We’re elves. We work at the North Pole. It’s Christmas time. We work for Santa Claus. We should be very, very happy and cheerful folks. So when we see an elf who is downcast or who doesn’t feel like it is Christmas we have to treat him right away. He’s got the virus. This isn’t a bug you discover by taking their temperature.”
In the North Pole Public Relations Department the entire newsroom staff — outside of myself — came down with the bug late yesterday. They were working mostly online, answering questions coming in by way of email. However, Elf Dougy had a birthday yesterday. Dougy is a nurse, working over at the North Pole Health Center, and everyone from Public Relations went over there to eat cake. Just being around a few sick elves was enough to bring down the entire team.
Elf Lionel’s staff is suffering the most though and they have all season. They continue to work despite the fact most don’t feel well. “We have been through this before,” Elf Lionel says. “This bug is impossible to avoid for those who treat others who get it. My doctors and nurses have all come down with the bug since it was discovered in the workshop. Christmas is riding on our efforts so our team is working even though they are sick. It is tough duty but it is our job and we have to help Santa deliver.”
Concerns are deep that the bug will spread to other areas of the North Pole — especially over at Santa’s Stables. If the reindeer get the virus there is no way they could recover in time for Christmas.
— Elf Ernest