If you’re on the eastern side of the continental divide in North America — go to bed.

That’s the word from Santa as he blitzes through South America at this hour. He’s moving very fast. We’ve heard from Montevideo, Stanley down in the Falklands, Santiago, and even parts of Ecuador in the past few minutes.

— Elf Ernest

Bedtime Warning: Anyone east of the Rockies

Santa Sends All Kids East of the Rockies to Bed 1