Santa is heading north, perhaps towards Japan or maybe even beyond. We are guessing he is seeking cooler weather to give the reindeer a little relief.
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: No issues reported at this time.
Sleigh Status: 1733 mph
Reindeer Status: Tiring.
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Falling coconuts reported in Guatemala; burned out Christmas lights reported in New Jersey; roof damage reported in Denver…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Jerusalem
Where it is Christmas morning now: Marshall Islands, Soloman Islands, Fiji, Samoa, Tonga, Auckland, New Zealand, Kiritimati
Kids in these places should be in bed by now: