Mogadishu is happy this hour as reports have come in about Santa’s visit there. Santa is really moving!
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: Command Center under lock-down…
Sleigh Status: 95774 mph
Reindeer Status: Record setting speeds being attained at this time.
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Non-Christmas music reported playing in Cologne; roof damage reported in Stuttgart; roof damage reported in Dresden…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Jamaica
Where it is Christmas morning now: Mogadishu, Cairo, Jerusalem, Riyadh, Baghdad, Tehran, Vorkuta, Omsk, Kabul, Delhi
Kids in these places should be in bed by now:
All of Europe
All of Africa