44 Weeks Until Christmas

Hi everyone! We’re down to 44 weeks until Christmas and I swear this is the longest winter of my life.

This is the thing about living at the North Pole. It snows every day. And I’m not talking a small amount of snow. I’m talking insane amounts of snow.

I’m a Colorado girl. That’s where I’m from. I know snow. I love snow. Well, at least I used to love snow.

But this isn’t Colorado snow at the North Pole. It’s the kind that blows in sideways and stings you in the face. Where I’m from that’s what they talk about when they talk about snow in Wyoming. But Wyoming has nothing on the North Pole. This place is just scary dangerous, always bitter cold and ALWAYS SNOWING.

But I’m not complaining. I’m an elf. Elves don’t complain, especially about stuff we can’t control. Like snow.

One of these days this reporter is going to interview Santa and ask him why he chose to live in this weird place. It’s looney-tunes.

Anyways.

We are entering a new season now at the North Pole. Yes, it’s always Christmas but there are many micro-seasons that go into Christmas. The micro-season we’re in right now is what I call Debate Season.

This is where we all argue about how we’re doing the stuff that has to be done for Christmas.

It’s kind of a funny thing when you think about it. Christmas is all about tradition and tradition means doing the same thing over and over again, so what’s to talk about right?

Well, as I’ve told you before, being an elf and working for Santa also means “doing better”.

That’s where the debates begin.

So what are we debating right now?

Candy canes.

I kid you not.

Candy canes are a part of Christmas right? So what’s the big deal? It’s sugar, a little coloring and some peppermint. Easy peasy, right?

No. There are elves – which shall remain nameless (Elf Emily) – who think they can do candy canes “better”. (There’s that word again).

Well, how do you “do better” with something that’s already perfect?

That’s the debate.

Right now, peppermint is out and something called “natural mint” is in. I’ve looked it up and I can’t find out what “natural mint” even means. But there are certain elves here really pushing the idea of changing the main flavor of candy canes.

I’m firmly against the idea.

First of all, I’m against the idea of alternative candy canes in general, which is something that gained steam many years ago. For years and years and years there was one kind of candy cane, it was red and white and peppermint.

Everyone was happy with that.

Well, almost everyone.

Then some yahoo invented chocolate candy canes, then rainbow candy canes, then cherry candy canes.

Then someone went really crazy and invented sick candy canes like garlic candy canes, and broccoli candy canes, and even candy canes that taste like bubble gum, licorice and banana.

That’s dumb.

Candy canes are traditional and I think we shouldn’t mess with them.

In fact, if we want to do something really different we should have a Christmas where we ban anything other than red, white and peppermint.

We need to straighten the world out. Not all change is good. Not all change is right. Not all diversity improves things.

Candy canes is one of those things that should never change. Like snow at the North Pole.

There. I said it.