Christmas in July Chat with Elf Ernest
Elf Ernest was the featured guest in North Pole Chat on July 4th. He spoke with Elf Frank Myrrh of North Pole Radio News accompanied by Elf Crash Murphy, International Director of Santa Trackers at SantaTrackers.net.
This chat centered on what could possibly be on Santa’s mind. Several months ago Santa said he has a special message he wants to send out. But he has not said what it is or when he is going to share it.
This is how the conversation went:
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Let’s begin |
| Elf Ulan | No problem! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Elf Ernest, you’re leading off Christmas in July for North Pole Chat. Do you have any announcements to make? |
| Elf Ernest | No. Hahaha. I have no reason to be here that I am aware of. I have no idea why I get to go first. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Oh. I was expecting maybe you and Santa had something to announce |
| Elf Ernest | Nope. I’ve barely seen Santa since he got back. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What is Santa up to? |
| Elf Ernest | He’s been at the Workshop a lot since he got back. He’s working very hard is what I’m told. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | You know, I have heard that Santa is quite the craftsman. But in my experience he doesn’t spend much time in the workshop |
| Elf Ernest | He doesn’t. He’s got so many responsibilities. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | So do you know why here’s there? |
| Elf Ernest | Not really. But I hear there are times and maybe this is one of them where he just puts on a tool belt and gets on the line like any other elf. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Is there a problem in the workshop? |
| Elf Ernest | No. The board shows all lights are green there. They are meeting their goals, elves are showing up. I haven’t heard of any problems. |
| Crash Murphy | Someone told me Santa was focusing on girl toys. |
| Elf Ernest | Really? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | How do you know that. Crash? |
| Crash Murphy | I cannot reveal my sources. |
| Elf Ernest | Hahaha. Crash, you’re making me laugh. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Elf Ulan, do you have any questions for Elf Ernest? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Ernest, what does the Senior Vice President of Public Relations do for Christmas in July? |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you! |
| Elf Ernest | I eat a lot of hot dogs, Frank. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Well, we all do that in July. |
| Elf Ernest | Are you in on the weenie contest this year, Frank? |
| Crash Murphy | In on it? He’s the biggest weenie of them all. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | LOL |
| Elf Ernest | Crash, Crash, Crash…. |
| Elf Ulan | Elf Ernest, oh, how about the frozen hamburger Santa made? |
| Elf Ernest | Santa’s famous snowball burgers? I love them! |
| Elf Ulan | Nice |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | We should make sure we remind people that the North Pole weenie contest isn’t like other hot dog contests out there. |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, our hot dog contest isn’t about who can eat the most. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Correct. The contest is who can roast the best weenie. That takes some work. |
| Crash Murphy | I have never understood the North Pole hot dog contest. How can you separate WHO makes the best one? |
| Elf Ernest | Elf Chef Pierre is a tough weenie judge! |
| Elf Ulan | Eating or making contest? Both? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Will Santa be joining that contest again? |
| Elf Ernest | It’s a roasting contest. It has very strict rules for something so simple. |
| Elf Ernest | They have to use the supplied all-beef hot dogs and it can only be cooked on a stick over an open fire. No spicing, no saucing, just roasted |
| Crash Murphy | That means they all taste the same! |
| Elf Ernest | No, it doesn’t Crash. That’s the point. |
| Elf Ulan | Wow |
| Elf Ernest | I went to Elf Chef Pierre’s workshop on this yesterday |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Wait, there’s a weenie roasting workshop? |
| Elf Ernest | Yeah, dozen of elves were there. It was incredibly informative. |
| Elf Ulan | Bear hotdog, not pork? |
| Elf Ulan | Best |
| Crash Murphy | How can holding a hot dog over a fire be….informative? |
| Elf Ulan | Beef.. |
| Elf Ernest | Crash, there’s rotation, proximity to the flame, the type of wood used for the fire, relative humidity, roasting time, and wave technique. A lot goes into it. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Relative humidity? How can anyone control that? |
| Elf Ulan | Sorry, my brain doesn’t work. I mean they make beef hotdogs |
| Elf Ernest | You can’t, Frank. But you have to know it. Did you know that a dry location where the humidity is less than 30% you have to add about 5 degrees to your roast angle? |
| Crash Murphy | Shut the front door! |
| Elf Ernest | I know, right? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Oh yes, they make all beef hot dogs. They’re delicious. Have you ever had a Wagyu dog, Elf Ulan? |
| Crash Murphy | Oooh, I love Wagyu dogs. They’re a bit messy though. |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, I tried one once. |
| Elf Ulan | no, I haven’t wagyu dog! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | You sound like you’re going to compete in the hot dog contest, Elf Ernest? |
| Elf Ernest | Oh no. I don’t do contests. |
| Crash Murphy | You should do it Elf Ernest |
| Elf Ulan | Lol |
| Elf Ernest | No…I can’t do that. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why not? |
| Elf Ernest | I’m a senior elf. I am here to support the team. |
| Crash Murphy | He is afraid he might win, Frank. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Is that true, Elf Ernest? |
| Elf Ernest | No, I know I’d never win. |
| Crash Murphy | He should participate like any other elf. |
| Crash Murphy | But he won’t. He never does. |
| Elf Ulan | How about an Eggnog chug? Did you join, Elf Ernest? |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, that’s right. And yes, I enjoy eggnog. But not enough to join the contest. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Elf Ernest…I know you are like the most responsible elf out there. But I don’t understand what would be wrong with you having a little fun now and then. |
| Elf Ernest | I have fun! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I’m not saying that. I’m just wondering why you can’t just be one of the guys especially on something like this. |
| Elf Ernest | I get in there and cook a hot dog. I just don’t enter it in the contest. |
| Crash Murphy | Frank, I think I understand why he does that. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why, Crash? |
| Crash Murphy | He doesn’t want to hurt any feelings. He doesn’t want anyone to suspect the contest is rigged or unfair in some way. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why would anyone ever think that? It’s a hot dog contest, we’re not doing brain surgery here. |
| Elf Ernest | Yeah, but Frank…. |
| Elf Ulan | Elf Ernest, you enjoy making, not comparing with others |
| Crash Murphy | Elf Ernest knows how fired up elves can be over any kind of game, Frank. |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, Elf Ulan. That’s exactly correct. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | It’s a HOT DOG contest!!!! |
| Crash Murphy | Yes, Frank. And with a name like Frank you should understand this. |
| Elf Ulan | Having hun is important! XD |
| Elf Ernest | Hahaha! Crash…. |
| Elf Ulan | Fun |
| Elf Ernest | I have fun the way I do it. I really enjoy it. Certainly better than the Kool Aid dunking booth |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Are you doing the dunking booth this year? |
| Elf Ernest | No, I got excused on account of my foot |
| Crash Murphy | Your foot? |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, I had a little procedure a few months ago and I’m still healing. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I didn’t know that. Are you okay? |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, it’s going good. I just have to keep going to therapy and slow down a little bit. |
| Crash Murphy | I had no idea. |
| Elf Ulan | Sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Me either. You’re kinda a quiet elf. |
| Elf Ernest | Not everything is news, Frank. |
| Crash Murphy | Are there a lot of things you know that you cannot have the News Department report, Elf Ernest? |
| Elf Ernest | Oh yes. Not everything needs to be shared. |
| Crash Murphy | What’s Santa’s favorite color? |
| Elf Ernest | Black. |
| Elf Ulan | What do you want to enjoy during Christmas in July? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Wait – wut??? |
| Elf Ernest | There is so much about Christmas in July I enjoy, Elf Ulan. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Santa’s favorite color is BLACK? |
| Crash Murphy | You didn’t know that, Frank? |
| Elf Ulan | For example? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | No I didn’t know that. And YOU asked the question Crash! |
| Crash Murphy | Yes, it’s a trick question. |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, it is a trick question. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | How can Santa’s favorite color be black? And how is that a trick question? |
| Elf Ulan | How about your favorite color, Elf Ernast? |
| Crash Murphy | Because Santa only likes black with red. |
| Elf Ulan | Lol |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Wait – huh? |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, that’s right. It’s a little thing Santa does when he visits children. A lot of them ask that question and Santa looks at what they are wearing and he says that color….with red. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | So it’s never really black? |
| Crash Murphy | Nope. It’s whatever with red. |
| Elf Ernest | That’s right. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | That’s confusing! |
| Crash Murphy | No, that’s one of the oldest Dad jokes in the book. And Santa is horrible with that kind of thing. |
| Elf Ernest | Hahaha – yes, it’s a Dad joke. Santa’s a master. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I had no idea about all this stuff. Next time I see Santa I’m going to ask him his favorite color and see if he pulls this on me. |
| Elf Ulan | Wait, red with black? Not white? |
| Crash Murphy | Just wear that ugly sweater you were in the other day, Frank. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | The one with your face on it? |
| Crash Murphy | That’s the one. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why do you want me to wear that to ask Santa this question? |
| Crash Murphy | Cause it has yellow, green, purple and some other colors in it. |
| Crash Murphy | I wanna see what Santa picks. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Santa isn’t going to Dad joke old Frank. |
| Elf Ulan | Me too! |
| Elf Ernest | Oh yes he would! |
| Crash Murphy | Yeah, he would, Frank. |
| Crash Murphy | I think Santa would mess with you in a heartbeat. |
| Elf Ernest | I think he would, too, Frank. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Seriously? Santa’s always so serious around me. |
| Crash Murphy | Yeah, why do you think that is, Frank? |
| Elf Ernest | Hahaha – I like where this is going. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I’m so confused. Why would Santa mess with me? |
| Crash Murphy | Because you’re the news guy, Frank. And he hears me mess with you and he’s jealous. |
| Elf Ernest | HAHAHA |
| Elf Ernest | I wouldn’t say jealous…. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Wow. This all blows me away… |
| Crash Murphy | Yeah, this chat’s not going to get published now. |
| Elf Ernest | Hahaha. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Why not? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Oh, and we’re about out of time. Actually we’re over time. |
| Elf Ulan | lol |
| Elf Ernest | It’s okay, remember I didn’t have any announcements. |
| Crash Murphy | Right, Elf Ernest. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Well, Elf Ernest, any last comments for all your adoring fans out there? |
| Elf Ulan | I actually wanted to ask a different question though lol |
| Elf Ernest | No, just that I’m looking forward to this year. It’s been an incredibly smooth year so far and I think it’s going to be a lot of fun from here on out. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Go ahead and ask your question Elf Ulan. |
| Crash Murphy | It HAS been a smooth year! |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you! |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, please Elf Ulan |
| Elf Ulan | Is there a theme for Operation Merry Christmas every year? |
| Elf Ernest | A theme? Not really. I think Operation Merry Christmas IS the theme. But some years different things happen that can give it a different feel, I guess. |
| Elf Ulan | I feel something different after Santa’s walkabout |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | What do you mean, Elf Ulan? |
| Elf Ernest | I think I know what Elf Ulan means. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I have heard some other elves say this, too. |
| Elf Ulan | I feel Santa learned a lot last year, so he thinks about it |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, he does, Elf Ulan. You are very wise. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | So…what is it that Santa is thinking about? |
| Elf Ernest | I think Santa will tell us. When he’s ready. |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Ernest |
| Crash Murphy | I think that’s a good way to put it. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Crash…you know about this? |
| Crash Murphy | I don’t know anything. But I agree with Elf Ulan. Santa has something to say. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Yeah, but what? |
| Elf Ernest | I know. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | You do? |
| Elf Ulan | I’m curious what people Santa met last year told him and what Santa saw there |
| Elf Ernest | Yes, Santa and I have talked. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | TELL US! |
| Elf Ernest | I can’t, Frank. That’s Santa’s thing. |
| Crash Murphy | I think Santa is waiting for the right time. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Well…is it a good thing? |
| Elf Ernest | Of course it’s a good thing. He’s Santa. He can only be good. |
| Crash Murphy | Again, you’re saying it just right. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Do you know what it is, Crash? You talk to Santa a lot. |
| Elf Ulan | I think Santa wants to make a good thing |
| Crash Murphy | No, I don’t know anything. But I agree with Elf Ulan. I can feel it. |
| Elf Ernest | Santa has a lot on his mind. He always does. He’s really interesting. |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Crash |
| Elf Ernest | He’s a very patient man. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Elf Ernest. Santa will be chatting later this month for Christmas in July. Do you think he will tell us then? |
| Elf Ernest | I don’t know, Frank. He could I suppose. I don’t advise Santa on things like this. |
| Elf Ulan | Santa’s thoughts are so deep even he makes us laugh |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Does Santa seek your advice? |
| Elf Ernest | Sometimes. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | With what? |
| Elf Ernest | How to cook weenies. |
| Crash Murphy | LOL |
| Elf Ulan | Lol |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Ok, Elf Ernest! We’ll leave it at that. Thanks for being in North Pole Chat with us! |
| Crash Murphy | Yeah, this was a good chat, thanks Elf Ernest! |
| Elf Ernest | Well thank you all. I hope you all enjoy Christmas in July. It’s gonna be fun. |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you, Elf Ernest, Elf Crash, and Elf Frank! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Join us Sunday folks when Elf Victor from the Reindeer Department will be our guest. |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Thank you Elf Ulan! |
| Elf Ernest | Elf Victor is always a good chat! |
| Crash Murphy | Are you hosting that chat, Frank? |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | I don’t know yet. |
| Crash Murphy | Ok. |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you! I hope to see you all again soon! |
| Crash Murphy | Thanks everyone for being here! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Yes, thank you all! |
| Elf Ernest | Bye everyone! |
| Crash Murphy | Bye! |
| Elf Ulan | Thank you! It was fun a lot! |
| Elf Frank Myrrh | Make it a great day everyone! |
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Thank you, Elf Wonslow! It was so much fun! Thank you, Elf Ernest, Elf Crash, and Elf Frank; you are always the best! I hope Elf Ernest feels better soon and everyone at the North Pole enjoys the events, including the roasting hotdogs contest! I wish I could join one of them. I’m looking forward to hearing about Santa’s announcement soon! XD