Elf Wally needs help. So he has called in the Tooth Fairies.
Tooth Fairies, as you know, provide a vital function for the world. When they stop what they are doing it is a big deal. But there is no bigger deal in all the world than getting Santa off the ground. So the Tooth Fairies, as they have in the past, are coming to the rescue to help out Elf Wally and the Wrapping Department.
“Big mistake,” said Elf Bernard. “Tooth Fairies and elves do not work well together. Elves are highly skilled, very organized and precise. Tooth Fairies fly around, spread pixie dust everywhere and have wings that require a lot of room. Plus, it is a bad idea to have all those wings around a lot of scotch tape, if you know what I mean.”
Elf Wally said he has no choice. We will keep you posted on how this works out.
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Estimated Time to Launch: 7 hours
Current North Pole Weather: 9 Degrees, Blizzard Conditions
Command Center Status: All systems are go, all lights are green
Santa’s Status: Flying to South Korea
Reindeer Status: Still taking a nap.
Santa’s Workshop Status: 65% complete, big problems!
Santa’s Sleigh Status: 90% ready, sleigh bell repair underway
Wrapping Department Status: 49% complete, emergency contingency plans deployed
North Pole Christmas Party Readiness: 100% complete
North Pole Medical Center Report: No new cases of sickness reported
North Pole Post Office Status: 72% complete, full staff working overtime
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Eggnog shortage reported in Louisville, Kentucky (no kidding); Roof obstruction reported in Caracas; anti-Santa characters reported in Galt, California.
Where it is Christmas Eve now: South Korea, Taiwan
Where it is Christmas morning now: Nowhere