In a surprise announcement Elf Bernard just moments ago declared Santa’s Workshop complete with their duties and that it is now closed for the season. He has dismissed all of his elves to go spend Christmas with their families.
“I’m quite proud of them,” Elf Bernard said. “They have worked hard all year but nothing short of a miracle has happened here tonight. We are done and it appears the effort is successful.”
Folks are now streaming over the Santa’s Stables in driving snow to find a spot to watch Santa lift off in about 45 minutes. There are lots of smiles here at the North Pole right now. Santa will soon be on his way!
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Estimated Time to Launch: 45 minutes
Current North Pole Weather: 12 Degrees, Blizzard Conditions
Command Center Status: All systems are go, all lights are green
Santa’s Status: Eating a meal.
Reindeer Status: Being hitched to the sleigh.
Santa’s Workshop Status: 100% complete, catching up
Santa’s Sleigh Status: 100% ready, all issues resolved
Wrapping Department Status: 100% complete, waiting on the workshop to complete
North Pole Christmas Party Readiness: 100% complete
North Pole Medical Center Report: No new cases of sickness reported
North Pole Post Office Status: 100% complete, half staff now working, others diverted to Santa’s Workshop
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Obstructions reported in Wellington, Auckland and Perth. Wild parties reported in Pago Pago; lack of Christmas spirit reported in Damascus…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Hong Kong
Where it is Christmas morning now: Nowhere