Santa Sets Records in the Orient

A rash of new reports are pouring in to the North Pole — all saying Santa has visited. Seoul, Manila, Hong Kong and Beijing are all reporting the impossible news that Santa has delivered.

At Santa’s tracking center the elves cannot believe it. “This is breathtaking!” Elf Quinton said to me. “I’ve never seen Santa work so fast in all my life. This is truly extraordinary. I dare say that if Santa wanted to get around the world and back home by the time Christmas Eve ends in Hawaii he could do it. This pace is simply amazing.”

Fast or not the pace is creating more problems than ever for Elf Bernard and his team in the workshop. Reports from the workshop says that Elf Bernard has increased power to all the machines there so that they are operating at 150% speed — as Santa goes faster so too must the workshop, I guess.

— Elf Ernest

Bedtime warning: Turkey

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