Santa has landed on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Is this where Santa makes his first delivery?
“We don’t think so,” Elf Billy said in the Tracking Center. “That is an unmarked ship. It does not belong to any country. In fact, it doesn’t seem to belong to anyone that we can tell. There are very few people on board this vessel. We are not sure what Santa is doing there.”
I checked in with Elf Agent X to see if he had any information. “Yes,” Elf Agent X, said. “I know all about it. I can’t tell you what is going on. It is classified.”
Well. There you have it. More news when I have it to report.
— Elf Ernest
Direct from Santa’s Newsroom at the North Pole
Command Center Status: Landing light is flickering near the rear of Santa’s sleigh.
Sleigh Status: 0 mph
Reindeer Status: Very strong.
Latest Secret Spy Reports: Light rain reported in the South Pacific; cold temps reported in Omaha; suspicious characters reported in Jacksonville…
Where it is Christmas Eve now: Beijing
Where it is Christmas morning now: Nowhere
Kids in these places should be in bed by now: