Elf Billy from the Weather Department has issued an urgent bulletin warning the North Pole of bad weather. A blizzard with white out conditions is expected to hit any time now. That’s kind of normal for Christmas at the North Pole. The weather doesn’t affect Santa and the reindeer much because when they take off […]
“You will be blown away,” Elf Agent X just told me by telephone. He was talking about the big historic event scheduled for two hours from now. It has certainly turned the North Pole on its head. I’ve never seen more elves so confused and worried as I am right now. I have noticed however […]
When work stops on Mrs. Claus’ cookies you know something important is up. Her kitchen is vacant at this hour as all elves there have left to gather a couple of miles away at an enclosed grandstand. That remote grandstand has everyone talking. The fact that is was built and nobody here noticed it is […]
Chaos has erupted in Santa’s Workshop as supervisors there don’t want to stop working. They are still behind there and the supervisors are upset that elves have been called to “launch positions”, effectively shutting down the workshop. Right now as I type this elves are being mobilized into shuttles and are being taken to an […]
Breaking News! Alarms of a different sort are going off at the North Pole and everyone here is in shock. These are special alarms. They only go off once a year and only for a special reason: they announce that elves need to gather to watch Santa launch. Everyone here is confused. But the news […]
Breaking news! Twelve hours from now Santa launches. Just 12 hours left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things here at the North Pole are very, very busy. The workshop is going a billion miles per hour, trying their best to get everything done. I understand they are still really, really behind. But the Tracking Center is all ready to go […]
The sun is rising in the South Pacific and the island nations of the sea are awaking now to Christmas Eve morning. For elves working that part of the world it is a busy time. They will be testing their tracking equipment over the next couple of hours as well as ensuring their communication systems […]
Santa’s sleigh just returned to the North Pole. I saw it land just moments ago. It appears the sleigh is undamaged and that Elf Vernon and those with him on the flight are unhurt. Elves from the Research and Development Department are all over the sleigh at this moment, making sure all parts are there […]
Big holy-moly breaking news again! Santa is launching a navy. Yes – a navy, as in boats. Three large ships have just departed from ports in Dubai, Singapore and Rotterdam. We don’t know yet where they are going or what their mission is. We don’t know how big they are. We have reporters working on […]
Breaking News! Evidently the Iranians are serious about getting Santa’s sleigh out of Iran. They have just fired a missile of some sort at it. Elves in the Tracking Center assure me that the sleigh is in no danger. Elf Vernon is not only moving at blazing speed he has also flown to an altitude […]
More breaking news! Alarm bells are now going off in MY department. We just received an official notice of complaint from the government of Iran in Tehran. They are demanding that Santa Claus order the sleigh out of Iranian airspace immediately. Honestly – they didn’t have to ask. Elf Vernon has already turned the sleigh […]
Breaking News! Alarms are going off in the Tracking Center and lots of radio activity can be heard there. Evidently Santa’s sleigh is on a test flight and they are now over the skies of Iran. Since entering Iranian airspace the alarms at the tracking center have been going off. We will try to find […]
